“Indeed for your faithful, Lord, life is changed not ended,

and when this earthly dwelling turns to dust,

an eternal dwelling is made ready for [us] in heaven.”

There are few experiences in life that are harder for us to move through than that of saying good-bye. Whatever the circumstances of a particular loss, the death of a loved one touches us deeply, and often leaves us confused, shaken, and enveloped by sadness. But as Catholic Christians, we hold tight to the conviction that Jesus has broken the chains of death, and extended to each of us the bright promise of immortality. Death is real . . . but the everlasting joy for which we are destined is more real, by far. Our hope is that our loved ones are even now in the strong arms of the One who rose from the dead, and wishes to bring all of us along with him.

When a loved one dies, the first step is normally to contact a local funeral home. We are blessed, here at St. Lawrence, to work with a number of funeral homes that are both compassionate and very professional. Once a family has made arrangements with the funeral home, the funeral home will contact the parish.

Longstanding tradition invites bereaved families to move through a series of ritual “moments” in honoring and praying for a person who has died. These often include: (1) a wake service or viewing at the funeral home; (2) a Mass of Christian Burial (funeral Mass) at the parish; and (3) a committal service at the cemetery. This traditional pattern has been changing in recent years, and families may choose to have all of the above, or only certain parts.

If a Mass of Christian Burial (funeral Mass) is going to take place at the church, the family will be contacted by one of our Ministers of Consolation. These are compassionate volunteers from the parish, who meet with family members to discuss details of the liturgy (e.g., selecting Scripture readings, music, etc.), and to invite loved ones to share personal information about the deceased, so our priests and deacon can better personalize the services.

To any and all who have lost a loved one, the parish family of St. Lawrence the Martyr extends our heartfelt sympathy and genuine concern for you as you move through a very difficult time. May the risen Lord give you peace!

A Word About Eulogies

On occasion a family member or friend may to wish to speak at the funeral Mass. The word “eulogy” comes from Greek, and literally means “good word.” We have no doubt that those who cared for and admired a deceased loved one are eager to share many “good words” about him or her. Unfortunately, these stories, anecdotes, jokes and remembrances are not always in keeping with the sacred tone of the liturgy, and sometimes express points of view that run counter to our faith.

The policy of our parish—and of many parishes in our Diocese—is that eulogies are not permitted during the funeral Mass. If a relative or friend would like to share such words of remembrance, the opportunity can be better taken during the wake at the funeral home, as part of the committal service at the cemetery, or perhaps during a social gathering that may follow the services.